Your team member is struggling with a challenge. You can see the solution clearly. You know exactly what they should do. So you tell them: “Here’s how to fix this. Next time, try this approach instead.”
They nod, say thanks, and implement your solution. Problem solved, right?
Wrong.
I learned this lesson working with a talented analyst who kept coming to me with the same types of problems. Each time, I’d give him the answer. “Run the numbers this way.” “Frame the analysis like this.” “Present it to leadership using this structure.”
He would follow my directions perfectly. The work improved. The problems got solved. But something bothered me: he never seemed to get more confident or independent. Two weeks later, he was still coming to me with variations of the same issues.
Then I realized what was happening. I was solving his problems instead of developing his capability. I was giving him fish instead of teaching him to fish. And because I kept rescuing him from having to think through challenges, he never built the mental muscles to solve them himself.
So I changed my approach. The next time he came with a challenge, instead of giving him the answer, I asked: “What’s your instinct about the best way to approach this?”
He paused, thought for a moment, and said, “Well, I think the key issue might be…” Twenty minutes later, he had worked through the problem himself with just a few guiding questions from me.
Here’s what I’ve learned: when helping others develop their skills, ask questions, don’t just tell. Because development happens through thinking, not through receiving answers.
Telling creates dependency. Asking creates capability.