Basic Concept #03: Not Everything Matters

Early in your career, everything feels urgent. Every task, every meeting, every time someone doesn’t respond, every comment. You’re scanning constantly for signals, reactions, meaning. You want to show up, do good work, move forward. So you treat every piece of feedback as important, every delay as a threat, every win as a verdict on your value.

But that’s not awareness. That’s survival mode. And if you stay there too long, you burn out.

The Cost of Caring About Everything

I’ve seen good, smart, caring people wear themselves down because they couldn’t let go. They were in every fight, they had an opinion on every issue. They offered help before anyone asked. Answering every Slack, every email, every unspoken issue in the room. And they called it responsibility.

What it really was, was a boundary issue. They hadn’t yet learned to filter.

If you don’t learn to set your filters, the world will give you a hundred things to worry about every day. It will hand you everyone’s emotions, everyone’s fears, everyone’s missed deadlines, and expect you to hold it all. And if you say yes to all of that, eventually something breaks. Usually, it’s your sense of clarity.

The Questions That Changed Everything

That’s not a question anyone else can answer for you. But here’s what helped me:

I started asking:

• Will this matter in a week, a month, or a year?
• Is this about me, or is it just passing through me?
• Can I influence this, or is it out of scope?
• If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

These questions aren’t excuses to avoid hard things. They’re anchors. They help you focus on impact, help you make conscious choices based on substance, not performance. And most importantly: they help you protect your energy for the battles that are actually yours.

What Changes When You Filter

When you stop reacting to everything, you start noticing the right things. Patterns. Power moves. Moments of leverage. When the room shifts. When silence is a tactic. When your action is needed or when your calm is required.

Not Everything Needs You

That’s tough, especially if you’re used to being the fixer. The helper. The overachiever. But sometimes the most powerful move is doing nothing. Not out of detachment, but from clear perspective. From knowing that your energy is too valuable to waste on illusions of urgency.

You’re not lazy, you’re not cynical. You’re just learning to be selective. That’s not disengagement. It’s maturity. You’re not here to prove yourself to chaos. You’re here to make meaning and move well.

The Transformation

This isn’t about doing less. It’s about seeing more clearly. And when you do, you’ll find your center again. The work gets quieter, but deeper. Your presence shifts. Others start noticing something different about you. You’re no longer reacting. You’re choosing.

Not everything matters. But when things do… that’s where you’ll shine.