“”Hi, I’m Sarah, I’m a marketing director.” “Nice to meet you, I’m Tom, I work in finance.”
Listen to how people introduce themselves. Most lead with their job title, as if that’s who they are.
I learned this lesson during my own burnout recovery. I’d been so merged with my role that losing a project felt like losing myself. Criticism of my work became criticism of my worth as a person. Bad quarters meant I was a bad person.
It took stepping away from the executive track to realize I’d confused what I did with who I was. The identity merger had cost me perspective, resilience, and the ability to adapt when things changed.
But you are not your job. Your job is something you do, not something you are.
The confusion between these two things creates problems that go far deeper than workplace stress. It creates career fragility, transition paralysis, and a professional self that can’t survive setbacks.
The Introduction Test
Pay attention to how you introduce yourself at parties, networking events, or when meeting new people. Do you lead with your role? Do you feel diminished when you’re between jobs? Do you struggle to describe yourself without mentioning your title or company?
If so, you might have merged your identity with your role. And that merger comes with hidden costs that compound over time.
What Happens When Job Becomes Identity
Your self-worth fluctuates with your performance. Bad quarter? You’re a bad person. Missed promotion? You’re not good enough as a human being. Project failure? Your entire identity takes a hit.
You can’t separate criticism of your work from criticism of yourself. Feedback about your presentation becomes feedback about your intelligence. Questions about your strategy become questions about your competence as a person.
You lose perspective on what actually matters. Work problems feel like life problems. Office politics become personal battles. Professional setbacks feel like existential crises.
Most dangerously, you can’t adapt when things change. If you ARE a marketing director, what happens when that role disappears? If you ARE a consultant, who are you when you want to try something else?
The people who thrive over long careers maintain a strong sense of self independent of their professional role. They can adapt to changes, handle setbacks, and explore new directions because their core identity remains stable.
Further Reading
#11 You think you are involved
#2 Your Name Is Not on the Building
#13 Clarity Feels Lonely Sometimes
#47 Always Be Open to New Things
#15 The Energy Trap: Not Every Battle Is Yours
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