You have so much to offer. Experience, insights, perspectives, solutions. When someone brings you a challenge, you want to share everything you know that might help. You want to give them the full benefit of your thinking.
So you talk. You explain. You provide context. You share analogies. You offer multiple approaches. You give them everything you’ve got.
I used to do this constantly. A colleague would ask about handling a difficult client situation, and I’d launch into a twenty-minute download: my analysis of the client’s psychology, three different communication approaches, every potential pitfall I could think of, stories from similar situations, and a detailed implementation plan.
I thought I was being generous.
I thought more information equaled more help.
Then I watched my colleague’s eyes glaze over. They’d nod politely, say thanks, and walk away looking more confused than when they started. Later, I’d learn they went with their original instinct anyway. Or worse, they’d gotten paralyzed by too many options and done nothing.
Here’s what I’ve learned: Sometimes, saying less is more generous than saying more. Sometimes the gift isn’t everything you know: it’s the space for them to think, the confidence to find their own way, the respect for their capability to figure it out.
The human brain has limited processing capacity. Too much information creates overwhelm rather than clarity. Too many options make decisions harder, not easier. Too much advice makes people feel incapable rather than supported.
When you say less, you communicate something powerful: “I believe you can figure this out.” That builds capability rather than dependence.