Basic Concept #3
Early in your career, everything feels urgent. Every task, every meeting, every time someone does not respond, every comment. You’re scanning constantly for signals, reactions, meaning. You want to show up, do good work, move forward. So you treat every piece of feedback as important, every delay as a threat, every win as a verdict on your value.
But that’s not awareness or being active, that’s survival mode. If you stay there too long, you burn out.
What I’ve learned (slowly, over time, and sometimes the hard way) is this:
Not everything matters.
Some things are noise. Some things solve themselves and some things are someone else’s responsibility. Quite a lot of it won’t even be remembered next week, let alone next year. And some things you care about deeply, but are not yours to fix. The real cost is not just your attention, but your emotional energy spent in the wrong places.
The Cost of Caring About Everything
I’ve seen good, smart, sharp and caring people (including myself, no doubt) wear themselves down because they couldn’t let go. They were in every fight, they had an opinion on every issue. They offered help before anyone asked. Answering every Slack, every mail, every unspoken issue in the room. And they (or I for that matter) called it responsibility.
What it really was, was a boundary issue. I hadn’t yet learned to filter.
If you don’t learn to set your filters, the world will give you a hundred things to worry about every day. It will hand you everyone’s emotions, everyone’s fears, everyone’s missed deadlines, and expect you to hold it all. And if you say yes to all of that (out of goodwill, professionalism, habit: whatever excuse you have) eventually, something breaks. Usually, it’s your sense of clarity.
What Matters Then?
That’s not a question anyone else can answer for you. But I can tell you what helped me:
I started asking:
- Will this matter in a month or a year?
- Is this about me, or is it just passing through me?
- Can I influence this, or is it out of scope?
- If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?
These questions aren’t excuses to avoid hard things. They’re anchors: they help you focus on impact, not ego. On substance, not performance. And more importantly: they help you protect your energy for the battles that are actually yours.
When you stop reacting to everything, you start noticing the right things. Patterns. Power moves. Moments of leverage. When the room shifts. When silence is a tactic. When your action is needed or when your calm is required.
Not Everything Needs You
That’s a tough one, especially if you’re used to being the fixer. The helper. The overachiever. But sometimes the most powerful move is doing nothing. Not out of detachment, but from a clear perspective, from knowing that your energy is too valuable to waste on illusions of urgency.
So if this concept lands for you, let it land fully. You’re not lazy, you’re not cynical. You’re just learning to be selective. That’s not disengagement. It’s maturity. You’re not here to prove yourself to chaos. You’re here to make meaning and move well.
Final Thought
This concept isn’t about doing less. It’s about seeing more clearly. And when you do, you’ll find your center again. The work gets quieter, but deeper. Your presence shifts. And others start noticing something different about you. You’re no longer reacting. You’re choosing.
Not everything matters. But when things do… that’s where you’ll shine.